I have been doing startups for close to 15 years. When you have a startup, it can consume you. This is particularly true if you have raised external funding, because you feel a tremendous sense of responsibility. One of the things that can get affected by all this is your health. My fitness and health were affected when I was running WebScope. I am still trying to recover my fitness and health. But I have a better appreciation for leading a balanced life and not get consumed by the startup.
There is a touching blog post on this topic by Jason Nazar, founder of DocStoc. If you are an entrepreneur, don’t miss it.
There is only one way I can imagine running a startup, obsessively giving it everything you’ve got. In my opinion its what separates the winners from everyone else, and it’s the only way I’d ever be able to look back on this experience without regret. But that kind of dedication comes with a price. And anyone who has chosen a path of starting a business can tell you the unintended consequences of startups.
For the past 2 years I’ve neglected my health, family, and friends. For most of my adult life, I was about 165 pounds. I’m almost 210 pounds these days, and trust me when I say my body’s not meant to carry this much weight. 2 years ago I was running 6 miles a day 3 times a week, and playing competitive basketball and tennis.
After we raised our first round of capital I regularly started staying in the office until 2am. I found myself so physically and mentally spent by the weekend that I typically slept most the day on Saturday, before I went back to work on Sundays. I was so inactive, I’m convinced now my muscles started to atrophy and I tore the ligament in my right foot, trying to finally exercise one day. Compensating for that injury I tore my left calf, and it’s been 5 months since I’ve been able to run or jog.
It took me a while to admit that I was stressed out, and even longer to realize I would turn to food to compensate for that stress. Over the past year, I’ve become a more solitary person with my thoughts and emotions than I’ve ever been, while increasingly becoming a public figure who’s known as an outgoing social networker and showman. It’s a strange dichotomy.
My father who I love dearly, isn’t only from another generation/country, he might as well be from another planet. He struggles the most to be supportive; I know he’s at least a little disappointed I didn’t practice law and take over the family real estate business. A lot of what I do is to make him proud and prove to him that all his hard work for his children was not in vain. If it were up to my father, we’d spend everyday together going to lunch and “working” side by side. I get to see him about once a week. He’s almost 80 and every time I see him I try and cherish the interactions, because I don’t know how many will be left.
When it comes to my family though, my lack of time affects me most in relation to my mom. My mother has been severely ill for the last 6 years. Due to mental illness that set in later in life, and a very early onset of Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s, she can’t hold a conversation, stand, eat, or function at all without full time caregivers. She is the person that has done more for me than anyone else, and was always my biggest cheerleader. She lives about 5 minutes away from my home. She doesn’t always remember my name, but every time I see her she lights up, and when I say “I love you”, she always says it back. I could leave the office every night at 8:00pm and give her a hug and kiss, spend a half hour with her, but I don’t. Our first office was across the street from her (not accidentally), and I’d walk over during the day to check on her. Since we moved further away, I typically go by to see her once every two weeks. It’s a choice I’m not very proud of.